I’d Rather Be An Outsider

You have to hand it to rapper Lecrae—a Christian who admirably speaks his mind. I normally prefer to use my own words, but sometimes someone so thoroughly nails a thought that there’s simply no need to reword.

On his latest album, Lecrae’s got a song that hits home (hard) with my Adventist experience. It’s called Outsiders. I’ll give you the lyrics below, with my own thoughts in bold.

Let’s get real. Like I always say… the truth will never mind.

[Hook]

I won’t stay here another night

If I gotta sacrifice

Who I am on the inside

I’d rather be an outsider

And you can stay if you like

I’ll see you on the other side

I wanna live the free life

I’d rather be an outside

Yes. Not another night. Life’s too short. God’s calling is too great. You don’t have to be outside the denomination to feel like an outsider. Adventism isn’t giving me a choice. Adventism itself is telling me the denomination is optional. How? They’ve been in the process of leaving me for awhile now. Put another way, I’m not anti-Adventist. It’s just that Adventism is increasingly anti-me.

[Verse 1]

I really can’t tell if I’m overdressed or I’m underdressed

If I’m underpaid or just overstressed

If I’m cynical or just over this

Cause I’m tired of tryna get over there

Man it’s over there

Party’s over

You probably couldn’t tell we over here

Cause you hardly sober

Double shots of that ego

They laughin’ at us, yeah we know

May be at the bottom but we not forgotten

The director’s plotting that sequel

‘Til then we live on the outside

And it might storm and we might die

But I’d rather go with my fist high

Standing outside of your inside

I tried my best to fit in

Looking for a suit to fit in

Standing outside of your prison

Tryna find ways I can get in

Now I realize that I’m free

And I realize that I’m me

And I found out that I’m not alone

'Cuz there’s plenty people like me

That’s right plenty people like me

All love me despite me

And all unashamed and all unafraid

To speak out for what we might see

I said there’s plenty people like me

All outsiders like me

And all unashamed and all unafraid

To live out what they supposed to be

Outsiders

Yes!! I tried for so long to “fit in” within the Adventist institution. Never could. Now, I don’t want to. And ya, I know I’m not alone. There are SO many fed up Adventists wanting something more. I’ve met them all over the country. Many are young, like me. I live for God… why should I be afraid? I’m going to ask the hard questions. I’m going to find a new way to navigate this present world in light of my faith.

[Verse 2]

I know what they askin’ fo’

I know what they askin’ fo’

But how you gone cover charge me my life and soul

And then turn around and ask for mo’

Time to go plus the line is long

I'mma color the outside where lines are drawn

If you wanna exclude me for being the true me

It’s Gucci

I already found my home

Homesick

Homeless if I’m honest

‘Cuz my home is somewhere I ain’t never been before

I'mma hone this here gift

Even if it doesn’t fit in the box

That’ll please these folks

Some of y'all gone need these quotes

I ain’t tryna eat I’m tryna feed these folks

Martin, Mandela yeah we need these folks

We believe these folks

We could be these folks

But they want me to take an L

Tired of taking losses so they can call me a failure

I failed at being you

But I’m winning at being me

I’m winning at being free

Ain’t no competition but me

See I realize that I’m free

And I realize that I’m me

And I found out that I’m not alone

And there’s plenty people like me

I said there’s plenty people like me

All outsiders like me

All unashamed and all unafraid

To live out what they supposed to be

Outsiders

YES!!! Money… it’s a big problem in the church. It eats away at the denomination’s credibility. More on that to come. I’ve been feeling spiritually homeless for a long time. And I realize I’m not living to please the institution. I am living to please God. I love this notion that we don’t have to be mindless sheep. WE, the body of believers, can lead. We don’t need a pastor’s permission. Or a “President’s” either. I’ve failed plenty of times at being a clone of Ted Wilson or Doug Batchelor. But I’m pretty awesome at being me. And I can sure do that for God.

[Outro]

It’s been too dark

So many lies

Turn on the lights

Open your eyes

Oh oh oh oh

We’ll be runnin’ through the night

It’s brighter on the other side

Oh oh oh oh

Something’s bigger than you and I

Brighter on the other side

Yes. It has been dark. I don’t have time for Adventism’s excuses anymore. My eyes have been opened. I won’t be held down any longer. Are you still trying to walk around with your eyes shut? It is brighter on the other side if being on the other side means you can live with a clear conscience.

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